Showfur? Chauffeur. - nqyumi - PHIGHTING! (Roblox) [Archive of Our Own] (2024)

Banhammer scribbled on the paper, he just skimmed it and wrote nonsense as a response. He had more important stuff to do anyway, important stuff meaning his lover. And food. He's hungry.

Stamping each paper and putting them on top of another pile, he was working from home. He got fussy when he couldn't see Subspace on his supposed day off because he hasn't finished half of his work yet.

Then he remembered he practically runs the place, and so he excused himself to work from home, saying his wife needed him. Said wife is fine by himself, thank you very much.

He didn't even mind the cold that came with trekking to Subspace's home, he was too excited to mind it. He could still feel the cold, his fingers were almost frostbitten, that's what he says.

He carried a huge backpack on the way to Subspace, packed full of papers he honestly didn't give a single sh*t about. But if the prisoners heard that, they'd try to escape once more. Geez, why can't they just wait? 25 years is short enough. Probably.

Praying periodically to his mother to give him strength against the god forsaken cold of Blackrock, he made it to Subspaces with shaking hands. Immediately bursting and slamming the door open, slumping underneath the sheets with Subspace sleeping.

“Ack… cold…” Banhammer shivered, wrapping his arms to Subspaces. The magenta demon groaned as he was woken up by the warden, he looked down to Banhammer's hands and immediately recognized them.

Subspace sighed and moved closer, pulling the blanket over their shoulders. “Aren't you supposed to be at work?” Subspace's voice was rough and groggy, too bad Banhammer was low-key into it.

“I missed ya.” He said, burying his face to the crook of Subspaces neck. Subspace scoffed, a tint of red flushing his face.

“Of course you do.”

Before Banhammer could respond, he was poked by Scythe's claw on his cheek. He yelped and looked at the teal demon, visibly offended. “Can't ya' see I'm busy?” He mumbled and tried to face Subspace, only for Scythe to poke him again.

“That's my place, ya' darn oaf.” Subspace didn't even know they had their respective places when cuddling with him on his bed, thinking about it, Banhammer was always on his right while Scythe was on the other, and the warden was currently on the left. “Get yer fat bum up.” She flicked Banhammer's forehead.

“'ight… geez…” He squeezed Subspace, flipping him and himself to the other side, he's not technically on Subspaces right. But he did it quite aggressively. He can't sleep anymore.

Subspace rolled his eyes, “did you have to do that??” Banhammer snickered, nuzzling back to Subspace's shirt.

“I saw papers on the table, that's yer work ain't it?” Scythe spoke, Banhammer thought he could put that away for a second. A second as in a day. “Get to it, lazy.” She said before laying down underneath the blanket.

“So you do have work.” Subspace turned to the guilty warden, judging him. “Banhammer.” “But I missed ya'.” He almost cut off Subspace, “Not a reason, you always complain when you can't finish your work on deadline.” He scoffs.

“Ya' don't either.”

“It's different.”

“... Fine.”

And so he's in the living room, sniffling and cold. His writing got more sloppy as he tried to quickly finish his work. It isn't even about cuddling and peppering Subspace with kisses, it's about not freezing to death.

The papers are nonsense anyway, some random accusations on a demon without evidence or obvious pranks. Do they think he'll jail someone for accidentally eating their sandwich that doesn't even taste good? Why would he jail someone for saying two plus two is equal to six? Talk to that about Subspace, he's a maths manic.

He's more than halfway through the pile of papers when he came across a report file, a black Cadillac Escalade stolen. That's something.

Don't those cost like, 80 thousand bux? How do you even steal a whole car anyway? The world is so small. ‘Had it had been reported stolen yesterday…’ he skimmed through it, the worlds are blending together honestly, maybe he actually shouldn't have put it off for so long.

‘Claimed to be the hired … for the vehicle's owner.’ The word between hired and for was blurred, it looks like a droplet of water got to it.

He could make out the letters ‘c’ on the start and two ‘f’s, an ‘r’ at the end, too. It must've been showfur, wait, choffur?

He didn't notice Scythe staring down at him, he got startled at her sudden appearance. “Whatcha' need?” He sighed and got back to focusing on his work.

“Nun’, cher wanted to know what ya’ were doin’.” She stared down on the paper, scanning it. “A missin’ Cadillac? That's sumn’.” She snickered.

He began writing down his response, it was still an investigation, ‘... Further the investigation on the' he wrote down before pausing, “how the hell do you spell shewfur?”

“C-H-A-U-F-F-E-U-R. Chauffeur.” Scythe sat down, an arm resting on the arm rest. Banhammer didn't like her tone, he just… forgot how to spell it.

He side eyed her, “ooh fancy pants,” he held his hands up, a mocking tone in his voice, “rich mc' gee' ova' here,” he continued, “f*ck ya'...” He ended. Scythe snickered and rolled her eyes.

“Jus' wanted to help.” She shrugged, smarty pants. Banhammer's words, not mine. Banhammer continued writing, why is it so fancy anyway?

He clicked his tongue, “spellin' bee ass…” he commented, the pen would've broke into two already if he got even more fussy over it.

He noticed Subspace opening and closing the door to the bedroom, walking out and scratching his back, “what's with the noise?” He grumbled. He walked to the two, Scythe held her arms up, coaxing the other to sit on her lap.

Subspace looked to the side before slowly sitting, Scythe purred and wrapped her arms around the other. “Are ya' tryna mock me.” Banhammer faced the rattlesnake demon, maybe she is.

“Whatcha' think?” She snickered, her tail on Subspace's lap, slowly wagging. Subspace trailed the line where the real skin met the white underside of her tail, he kneaded it like how a cat would.

Banhammer frowned, mumbling something incoherent. Stupid paperworks.

Subspace stared at Banhammer's dragon-like tail, it had scales. It shined a bit when sunlight hit it, the underside was light, just like Scythes. Dragons and snakes are alike, anyway.

Unfortunately, Subspace's tail is like a bunny, sometimes he forgets he has one. It barely even moves honestly, only when Banhammer and Scythe are pampering him to bits it wags. It doesn't get in the way, but he feels like it'd be better if he didn't have a tail at all.

Banhammer continued to write, Subspace glanced over it, noticing the word chauffeur, “I thought it was spelt with one ‘f’?” It was not spelt with one ‘f’. Too bad.

“Banny ova' here didn't know how to spell it either way.” She commented, the warden lightly kicked Scythes foot. “Jus' sayin'.” Subspace leaned in, examining the paper. Technically Banhammer can't show these to other demons, but it's Subspace, who was he to deny?

“Scythe's tryna' be smart or sumn'...” He commented before putting the paper away to another pile. “She's gonna' give me the definition next.” Subspace poked Banhammer, “What?” He turned to him.

“Don't be like that.” Subspace smiled, he likes it when he's the one doing the teasing. Not when he's the one blushing and turning red.

Banhammer sighed and continued writing, he actually doesn't know what a chauffeur is. It's a driver, yes, but what's the difference? Smarty pants.

Showfur? Chauffeur. - nqyumi - PHIGHTING! (Roblox) [Archive of Our Own] (2024)
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